Storytime #5: My Coming Out Story - Something I hate to admit to most of my family members

My Coming Out Story begins back before I was born, my mother lost two children during childbirth and when I was born, I was a premature baby. When I was a child, I was introduced to my first Cabbage Patch doll at age of three years old. (Its name is Fred, and I still currently have that same doll, but as a collector item.) I guess around five years old, I used to play with other dolls; but made out of just tissue paper or paper towels for short time. I didn’t know why I made them or what they meant to me at that time. By the time I was ten years old, my mother introduced me to golf which I like to do. I played it up until my junior year in high school, because I had other interests in mind. 
Anyway, getting off on the topic; I have a strange fantasy attraction to mermen especially from the movie: Disney’s The Little Mermaid; when I saw the movie as a kid. I did lose my virginity until age of 11 years old by a known person that who later end-up a straight guy and married to a female partner with children. I still puzzled to how that happened. (He had a secret relationship with me, on and off for almost seven years; we met on some weekends.) When I was in 4th grade, I had an ex-friend that dare me to do something very terrible to another girl during my trip on the school bus, going home one day. It ended up with two whippings (spanking) with a belt - one from my mother and then another from my father, (who went beyond with anger.) Til this day, since my father did that, I have never been interested in women beyond a friendship. And it disturbs me when I witness other parents discipline their children, similar to me. When I went to high school, I had to suppress myself from being queer, the whole time I was in high school; however, I did have a secret crush with one best friend I have grown up with. I had the opportunity to express secretly with him at one of our tutor session once, in either the 8th grade or somewhere early in high school. I never told him who I really was while we were best friends in the past. I did experience being bullied for almost most of my grammar, middle, and high school years, (not for being queer; but for being short, a slender person, and smart.) When I was in the 10th grade, I was invited to someone birthday party in my neighborhood from a few of my ex-friends. I feel odd and uncomfortable being there, so I left after 20 minutes because it was too crowded with high students in that party house. The next day, before the bus was preparing the trip to take students home, I was sexually harassed by one of the upper-classmate male student. (After a group of guys wanted me to do something terrible to another guy on back of the bus for his birthday; after I refused and went quickly back my seat, just before I had a sudden flashback of me in the 4th grade, doing something terrible on the way home on the bus.) I reported him to the following day and he was suspended for a few days or so. I didn’t come out to my parents, individually; until two years later after high school; (between graduation in 2005, but didn’t receive my high school diploma until 2006, and before I begin my first college in 2008.)

First, was my father; (at the beginning of the first month of 2007, when I was 20 years old, a month before my next birthday;) who by accident, he saw a website; which was designed for the LGBTQ community that I was on, (which currently doesn't work.) My father was upset when he saw the word, “gay” from the website; so, he left my room, (which parents and I had to share a desktop computer in my room at the time,) and went to work that evening until the next morning. I was very nervous and afraid to tell to him the truth about me when he came home; so, to keep it at ease, I said, “I was straight.” (It was better that way at that time.)
Then, was my mother; I told her twice before, but not in detail about me; yet each time, she would say, “It’s a lonely life.” or “What would a man do for you?” When I finally told her about who I was again that final time and show a resource about it; (just a month or two before the end of 2007, when I was 21 years old;) after I brought a self-help book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life Through the Power of Insight and Honesty - Keith Albow, MD” (in the middle of the year of 2007, at 21 years old; which help guided me.) She got emotional and I guess she gossip to one of my father’s sisters or one of her friends on the phone, away from me. I felt sad and betrayed because my mother could never approve of who I am. 
When I enter my first two-year community college in 2008, I joined a club organization for the LGBTQ community along with other group activities. For the first time, I felt welcomed with open arms as I became comfortable with a group of other students who share the same issues and similar experiences I had. Til this day, I wish my parents would understand a little bit more about me being a queer person. 
Being in a religious Catholic faith was easy at first, but for a while, I did follow the right way. However, also being queer had some problems to not disobey. When I moved to Lithonia, GA, United States with my parents after I lived in Atlanta, GA, United States for most of my five years of my life (when I was 5 years old); my parents and I went to a Catholic church there. We met a priest who we and the community liked for a while until after the priest left unnoticed to all of us. We find out that he, the priest was queer; shortly later on.
It wasn’t until many years later to understand as a blogger to express in typing my posts. I like to write stories both fiction and non-fiction from my childhood until adulthood. As a queer person, I’m interested in many issues from my experience and share some of them to others. As I’m decided to follow a different faith - Unitarian Universalism in my mid-twenties, I’m learning more about that faith and away from my upbringing faith - Catholic. Two of the biggest issues I have with upbringing faith is one: The revised creed(s) (dogma); which I disagree with. And two: Feeling uncomfortable and discriminated against about me being queer in a faith they called it, “a sin.”
With this blog I been working on, I hope to share my experience with others that can’t approve me, but some to understand what I been though.