LGBTQ Social Justice: The hateful things that others do like hate crimes

For a while; since back in the day, other people do terrible things to the LGBTQ community and other race for cause that are unknown to us. I never been in it for myself of a hate crime, but seen it in the news and social media and it needs to stop. Destroying people dreams from achieving them is wrong. Most recently, Jussie Smollet (who is an actor who recently from American T.V. Drama Series, Empire. In addition, Jussie is also a singer; who released his debut album, last year: Sum of My Music; was a possible victim of a hate crime from someone that was misunderstood to us and it’s sad that it happened to him. I mentioned an experience of sexual harassment in high school from a upper-classmate who was a male student and reported him for it in my Coming Out Story. I posted it earlier this month, because not only it needed to be done for me; but also along with my Recovery Story; which I posted last year. Both stories are voice for others who cannot be themselves, cannot share to their families/friends, or cannot figure out what to do next in their lives - as a way of hope. Hate crime is hate to others who dislike them or the lifestyle, but replace it with understanding can help in some way.

Music: Music that inspire me

1. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJKx7BBeYSRWcAPNbm74cmqERUruzIdYG

Life Lesson: Learning to forgive and move on forward

It’s been almost 7 years since I dated my second ex and it’s been interesting for me. Move on to a new chapter has been good for the most part. I just wish I could get one question from him, “Why did he changed my life after he took revenge on me?” I guess I won’t never get an answer. Keep moving forward - is the key in life, no matter what come your way.

This video from YouTube really inspired me to post:
https://youtu.be/zq8NLd8YXuc

Private Entertainment: My favorite videos from these websites of men

*⚠️Warning! These Websites May Contends Some Images/Videos, That's Not For Younger Audience.⚠️*
1. https://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkmafiaradio/3873939012/?fbclid=IwAR2r1kqMhNWdVeJDZXQaXpwwan6FPyuAFB8ZXunPQqWHZcYVDG-7KHqrmsw

2. https://youtu.be/UPLTyD6_S8M

3. https://youtu.be/KKHPmaRsWpM

Storytime #6: Moving/visits from place to place in the United States/other places

When I was a baby until a kid, my parents and I were in my first childhood home in East Atlanta, Georgia, United States for most of my five years of age. I don’t remember much back then, but I remember I used to have a babysitter who was kind to me. She was couple years older than me, but stay respectful. Also I can remember when I was a toddler, one of my father’s relatives give me a Baby-Walker to help me learn to walk. One day, I was in the Baby-Walker playing in a open garage of our home. And suddenly, it roll off from our house into a down hill street. Luckily, my father was in the yard when he saw me. He ran to save me just in time before a truck appeared into our neighborhood, coming toward me. It’s weird because I was happy then from the ride of my life, but my father was puzzled after he saved me from the truck.
By the early 90s, when my parents and I moved to Lithonia, Georgia, United States; it was better place to live for a while. Our house back then was a three-story home with three bedrooms and two bathrooms - upstairs [third level] and one half bathroom - downstairs [second level.] I had couple of friends to hangout with, a neighborhood lake, a neighborhood swimming pool, a neighborhood tennis court (which not many people / neighbors used) and a neighborhood playground. My favorite thing about that neighborhood lake was, it’s a place where I could play on the neighborhood playground, which was a few yards away, from the neighborhood lake; when I was a kid. Somedays, I just go to the neighborhood lake and sit on a bench or stand near the playground, away from the neighborhood lake for a couple of minutes or so; where I could daydream or clear my head of many things, then go back home; when I was in my teens until my earlier twenties. In addition, during my time at Lithonia, Georgia; I had many things I used to do in Lithonia, Georgia for years - (from the age of five until my earlier twenties.)
My parents and I used to see my grandparents on my mother’s side in Port St. Lucie, Florida, United States. Their house was a ranch home with a swimming pool that was a shape of a kidney. Sometimes, mother’s brother visits us there to check on my grandparents to see for their okay. My parents and I would stay in Florida for a few days or so before going back home to Georgia.
I used ride a motorcycle with my father to many places. I been to a few States of the United States, for example; Florida, United States; South Carolina, United States; and Virginia, United States; just to name a few. I still ride with him, but not as much or as far. However, we do go to a memorial ride with a small group of bikers (motorcycle club) in the spring, every year to pay our respects of a member who was also a biker too.
By 2009, my parents and I moved again to a ranch condo home in Powder Springs, Georgia, United States. For a while, it was nice; just for the three of us. But the only problem was it became little too small to invite guest to came over to our home. Our home had two bedrooms and two bathrooms - [all on first level.] It was in a senior community condo ranch houses. I didn’t like being there because their was no one to talk to in my age range, except my parents. - (From my earlier twenties until my late twenties.)
Then couple of years later, (at the beginning of the fall season of 2016,) we moved again into our current location; but still in Powder Springs, Georgia. However, while our house was being built; we had to move into our former reality agent’s home, for eight long months from 2016 until 2017 before we could finally move into our home in summer of 2017. The best thing about my current location is it’s also a ranch, but it also has an upstair room just for me. Our home has two bedrooms and two bathrooms - [on first level] with another bedroom and bathroom - upstairs [second level.] - (From the age of 30 until present age.)
During all of our second, third and final houses, I been going to college. I had to transfer into two other colleges before I transfer into my current college. From the first half of 2008 only - Georgia Perimeter College (former) Georgia State University-Perimeter College (current.) Then from the second half of 2008 until 2009 - Dekalb Technical College (former) Georgia Piedmont Technical College (current.) And finally from beginning of 2010 until presents - Chattahoochee Technical College (currently.) Of these first two colleges I been to, I didn’t finish because of some personal issues or we had to move to a place that further away, however; with the last college, I’m getting close to being finish.
Also between 2008 - 2016, I been in three cruise ships. (Twice with my mother and a group in 2008 and 2009. And once with both of my parents in 2016.) I visited a couple places outside of the United States while cruising - The Caribbean Islands: St. Martin, Jamaica, and the Bahamas; just to name a few.
We’re planning (my parents and I) are going on another cruise this year - in the summer of 2019. I can’t wait until then to meet new people from all over the country.

Life Lesson: Life lesson that will be hard to get over: #1.

Yesterday afternoon, I realized I made one the most biggest mistake in my life so far. I had overdrawn my credit card towards building my business blog with help of my ads and social media. Yesterday evening, I wrote this on Twitter to help with my problems; it made things worse with two comments saying, “They don’t care.” So to change that, I deleted that tweet couple hours later then did a short meditation, not a prayer; on changing my thoughts to the lesson that will be done very soon. Therefore, I’m doing a new post on this big problem. My mother was very upset with me on what I did and it won’t help if I explain because of her differences in opinion with my life choices. My father might understand from the business point of view because he too would be upset, but not as much as my mother. My mother did fix a little of the big problem I did yesterday afternoon, but that all she could do as the final straw. I have to put in a lot of work to fix this big problem I created on my own for a while until I could reuse the credit card again very soon. Fortunately, I do have a debit card, but not for my replacement with credit card on my big mistake; for personal uses (daily use - like groceries, finishing college, etc.) I hope that when lesson is over, I can regain my parents wishes to have little better choices in my business and on life.

Entertainer / Music Celebrity News: My favorite LGBTQ person who is an actor / singer in my generation so far of the 2010s.

Jussie Smollett - is a great actor and singer in my generation because as an actor, plays the role of Jamal Lyon on Fox 5 (Fox Broadcasting Company) - TV Show: Empire (American Drama Series.) His character struggles to approve from his father, Lucious Lyon played by Terrence Howard of being gay. But his mother, Cookie Lyon played by Taraji P. Henson has supported him as a singer and being gay. Along with them; are his brothers, Hakeem Lyon played by Bryshere Y. Gray a.k.a.: Yazz; the youngest brother who is a rapper and Lucious Lyon's favorite son. And Andre Lyon played by Trai Byers; the oldest brother who’s college educated with a mental illness - bipolar disorder.

Anyway, Mr. Jussie Smollet is also a great LGBTQ supporter and leadership of some organizations that matter to him. He is a good role model to me because he is the first African-American guy that I seen that is a gay celebrity while plays the role of Jamal Lyon on Empire, who the character is also gay too.

1. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mUTgBNap54jeLYZkCxLvXORK29uobSSAs

2. https://youtu.be/t8k1G_NHto4

Storytime #5: My Coming Out Story - Something I hate to admit to most of my family members

My Coming Out Story begins back before I was born, my mother lost two children during childbirth and when I was born, I was a premature baby. When I was a child, I was introduced to my first Cabbage Patch doll at age of three years old. (Its name is Fred, and I still currently have that same doll, but as a collector item.) I guess around five years old, I used to play with other dolls; but made out of just tissue paper or paper towels for short time. I didn’t know why I made them or what they meant to me at that time. By the time I was ten years old, my mother introduced me to golf which I like to do. I played it up until my junior year in high school, because I had other interests in mind. 
Anyway, getting off on the topic; I have a strange fantasy attraction to mermen especially from the movie: Disney’s The Little Mermaid; when I saw the movie as a kid. I did lose my virginity until age of 11 years old by a known person that who later end-up a straight guy and married to a female partner with children. I still puzzled to how that happened. (He had a secret relationship with me, on and off for almost seven years; we met on some weekends.) When I was in 4th grade, I had an ex-friend that dare me to do something very terrible to another girl during my trip on the school bus, going home one day. It ended up with two whippings (spanking) with a belt - one from my mother and then another from my father, (who went beyond with anger.) Til this day, since my father did that, I have never been interested in women beyond a friendship. And it disturbs me when I witness other parents discipline their children, similar to me. When I went to high school, I had to suppress myself from being queer, the whole time I was in high school; however, I did have a secret crush with one best friend I have grown up with. I had the opportunity to express secretly with him at one of our tutor session once, in either the 8th grade or somewhere early in high school. I never told him who I really was while we were best friends in the past. I did experience being bullied for almost most of my grammar, middle, and high school years, (not for being queer; but for being short, a slender person, and smart.) When I was in the 10th grade, I was invited to someone birthday party in my neighborhood from a few of my ex-friends. I feel odd and uncomfortable being there, so I left after 20 minutes because it was too crowded with high students in that party house. The next day, before the bus was preparing the trip to take students home, I was sexually harassed by one of the upper-classmate male student. (After a group of guys wanted me to do something terrible to another guy on back of the bus for his birthday; after I refused and went quickly back my seat, just before I had a sudden flashback of me in the 4th grade, doing something terrible on the way home on the bus.) I reported him to the following day and he was suspended for a few days or so. I didn’t come out to my parents, individually; until two years later after high school; (between graduation in 2005, but didn’t receive my high school diploma until 2006, and before I begin my first college in 2008.)

First, was my father; (at the beginning of the first month of 2007, when I was 20 years old, a month before my next birthday;) who by accident, he saw a website; which was designed for the LGBTQ community that I was on, (which currently doesn't work.) My father was upset when he saw the word, “gay” from the website; so, he left my room, (which parents and I had to share a desktop computer in my room at the time,) and went to work that evening until the next morning. I was very nervous and afraid to tell to him the truth about me when he came home; so, to keep it at ease, I said, “I was straight.” (It was better that way at that time.)
Then, was my mother; I told her twice before, but not in detail about me; yet each time, she would say, “It’s a lonely life.” or “What would a man do for you?” When I finally told her about who I was again that final time and show a resource about it; (just a month or two before the end of 2007, when I was 21 years old;) after I brought a self-help book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life Through the Power of Insight and Honesty - Keith Albow, MD” (in the middle of the year of 2007, at 21 years old; which help guided me.) She got emotional and I guess she gossip to one of my father’s sisters or one of her friends on the phone, away from me. I felt sad and betrayed because my mother could never approve of who I am. 
When I enter my first two-year community college in 2008, I joined a club organization for the LGBTQ community along with other group activities. For the first time, I felt welcomed with open arms as I became comfortable with a group of other students who share the same issues and similar experiences I had. Til this day, I wish my parents would understand a little bit more about me being a queer person. 
Being in a religious Catholic faith was easy at first, but for a while, I did follow the right way. However, also being queer had some problems to not disobey. When I moved to Lithonia, GA, United States with my parents after I lived in Atlanta, GA, United States for most of my five years of my life (when I was 5 years old); my parents and I went to a Catholic church there. We met a priest who we and the community liked for a while until after the priest left unnoticed to all of us. We find out that he, the priest was queer; shortly later on.
It wasn’t until many years later to understand as a blogger to express in typing my posts. I like to write stories both fiction and non-fiction from my childhood until adulthood. As a queer person, I’m interested in many issues from my experience and share some of them to others. As I’m decided to follow a different faith - Unitarian Universalism in my mid-twenties, I’m learning more about that faith and away from my upbringing faith - Catholic. Two of the biggest issues I have with upbringing faith is one: The revised creed(s) (dogma); which I disagree with. And two: Feeling uncomfortable and discriminated against about me being queer in a faith they called it, “a sin.”
With this blog I been working on, I hope to share my experience with others that can’t approve me, but some to understand what I been though.

Storytime #4: Being in concert band vs Spanish class

I was in middle school from 6th grade - 8th grade. I went to Spanish class for a week, and within that week in the 6th grade. I stuggling to learn the language in class. So, I changed classes to concert band. I had fun learning music with the instrument of choice - the trumpet; at less for most of the 6th grade. By the 7th grade and 8th grade, the class was more of a challenge for me and the other classmates because we had a new music teacher. I begin to not be serious with practicing with music for this music teacher. And in addition, we were introduced to marching band 1-0-1 for high school in the 8th grade. I was beginning not to be involved with that, so by the time I enter the 9th grade in high school, I decided to quit the band; but regretted my decision of leaving Spanish class back in the 6th grade. But one thing I learned for both classes: Never say I can’t, but to try your best at any subject.

Here’s my favorite classical song(music) from middle school,
Stephen Bulla - Tournament(Classical music)
From Apple Music:
https://music.apple.com/us/album/tournament/570921877?i=570921884

Storytime #3: Facing a bully in school

This story begins when I was in the 4th grade, I wasn’t as a smart reader as I am currently, however this certain bully was clever with a weird personality. At one time; I was making fun of him, and he did the unthinkable of fighting with me in class. I didn’t know to defend myself, but after some of the other students broke off the fight; I knew I need to learn to defend myself. Lucky for me, one of my closest cousin was into karate for a few years. My parents and I arranged with him and his mother (my aunt) for me to take karate classes with my cousin on weekends. As my cousin and I practiced each weekend until I was confident with him to perform in front of an audience. On the day of performance, I frozed because I was afraid I will mess up, but my cousin; who performing with me was confident that I will be okay. After our performance, the audience were happy as they cheer for us. Since that day, I remember and practice karate on my own sometimes.